Post by Amandus on Jan 27, 2016 15:39:10 GMT -5
ThunderSpirit's Death
While we wait for some of the others to reply to the first plot, I thought it would be appropriate to post this excerpt. Guess what day it is? January 27th. And what happened on this fateful day? Well...the canon ThunderSpirit died. RIP.
The writing in this is a little cheesy and unconvincing, since this was really the first depressing death seen I ever wrote. A lot of this scene centers around on how young NightStar (later NightSpirit) was impacted by the loss, more so than the other ThunderClan members, who just accepted it and movedon. Outcasts who have been in the Clans for a while know that there's no point in grieving excessively, or growing attached to a Clanmate. Younger members don't understand this until much later on.
While we wait for some of the others to reply to the first plot, I thought it would be appropriate to post this excerpt. Guess what day it is? January 27th. And what happened on this fateful day? Well...the canon ThunderSpirit died. RIP.
The writing in this is a little cheesy and unconvincing, since this was really the first depressing death seen I ever wrote. A lot of this scene centers around on how young NightStar (later NightSpirit) was impacted by the loss, more so than the other ThunderClan members, who just accepted it and movedon. Outcasts who have been in the Clans for a while know that there's no point in grieving excessively, or growing attached to a Clanmate. Younger members don't understand this until much later on.
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009:
[7:20 P.M-]
Victoria's stomach churned as she sat next to the fire with her Clanmates, worrying for the leader's life. She'll be ok, she reassured herself repeatedly, but in the midst of the Great Outcast War, there was little optimism, and death was everywhere.
Victoria looked behind her to the nurse's tent where Rose, the newly assigned nurse, and Lisa were concealed in. She could barely hear Rose murmuring something, but couldn't make it out. Lisa's coughing stopped, she pondered. Johanna, the deputy, came out of her own tent lethargically, bringing out a wool blanket, and sat down beside Victoria. She unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around her and Victoria, shivering.
"How do you think she's doing?" the young warrior asked.
"I don't know. It seems too quiet, though," Johanna answered with uncertainty. Suddenly, Rose came out of her tent, standing at the entrance, and said, "Johanna? Lisa wants to see you."
The deputy quickly stood up and speed-walked to the nurse's tent, Victoria watching her until she disappeared into it. That can't be good, she worried.
Meanwhile, in the tent, Johanna kneeled down before the sick leader's sleeping bag. Though it was dark, the deputy could still see the sickly paleness on Lisa's face. She looked miserable.
"Y-you're dying, Lisa," Johanna choked and took the leader's hand into her own two, but Lisa yanked it away towards her own face. "Don't touch me!" she rasped angrily, slightly coughing afterwards, "We don't need you catching it." Rose looked on from behind with grief.
"There's no hope for me, Johanna," Lisa whispered, eyes watering, "I never thought I'd die this way."
"No. You'll make it."
Lisa shook her head silently in despair, "No. Take care of this Clan...and make sure all the future leaders will do the same. I'm the last original one left, anyway." She slowly laid back down, taking in shallow, painful breaths.
Johanna glanced at Rose, who was tearing up. The nurse walked up beside the leader on her right, "Lisa?" The leader didn't answer. Both Johanna's and Rose's eyes widened, and they looked at each other.
"Lisa!" Johanna hissed, and brushed the leader's blond hair away from her face. Her eyes were closed, but Johanna felt no breath coming from her nose or mouth.
Rose took Lisa's hand, but it was limp and cold. The nurse shook her head in panic, "Oh, no. No!"
Johanna inhaled shakily, "She's gone."
"We should...both go out and tell everyone," Rose sobbed and put down the leader's hand. They both stood up and exited the tent.
The deputy and nurse stood before their Clanmates around the fire, and they all looked up with anticipation.
"Our leader is dead," Johanna deliberately announced with grief, and looked down.
All the warriors gasped in shock and glanced at each other, and some already began crying. Victoria's mouth hung open as she looked up at the deputy. She hastily stood up and went inside the nurse's tent. "What are you-" Johanna said.
Victoria breathed heavily as she looked at Lisa's body, then kneeled down. She broke out sobbing and hugged her, remembering all the leader had done since she first joined ThunderClan. She didn't make it through the war, she thought. Victoria had always liked to think that Lisa would have victory against ShadowClan in order to end the Great Outcast War, and be admired as a hero by all the Clans.
Johanna came into the tent, "Come on, Victoria. We're burying her and then choosing the new deputy." The new leader picked up Lisa's body, but Victoria cried, "I thought she'd help us win the war!"
"I know, me too...but the Spirits didn't think that should be her task," Johanna answered. I guess that will be my job now, she thought.
Catherine saw Johanna carrying Lisa's body out to the small area of the forest South, where the other Clan members were buried. She grabbed a shovel from beside the warriors' tent as she along with her Clanmates followed Johanna. There was a large rock sitting at the base of a tree, where no Outcast had been buried before. Johanna looked to Catherine and murmured, "Dig here."
The warrior began digging up the frozen earth with much effort, and meanwhile Johanna asked as she held the body, "Does anyone have any words for Lisa?"
The warriors hesitated, many still in shock. Then one of them, Celeste, spoke up, "I'm sure she will look after us from SpiritClan, and she and the rest of the Spirits will help end this war."
Her Clanmates nodded and murmured in a kind of sad hope. Victoria remained silent. "And we will see her again...once we die," Brigitte added with her head low.
A few minutes later, Catherine had finished digging a rectangular five foot hole, a pile of dirt beside it. She struggled to climb out, and two warriors pulled her up. Without a word, Johanna kneeled down next to the hole and carefully laid Lisa in it, along with the clothing and jewelry she didn't wear, as the others watched mournfully. In a few moments, Catherine would shovel the dirt back into the grave.
[7:45 P.M-]
After Lisa was buried, the warriors silently went back to the campfire, while Johanna was moving her few belongings, some books, clothing, and jewelry, over to the former leader's tent. Afterwards, the deputy's tent was completely empty besides some boxes and the sleeping bag.
Johanna came out of her new tent and stood before the campfire. "It's time for me to choose the new deputy," she announced.
The warriors wearily looked up, and the older members anticipated her decision. It can't be me, Victoria thought. She hadn't even been a warrior for a year.
Johanna glanced at all the different warriors for a moment, but her eyes fell on Victoria, who sat meagerly in the crowd. She broke the silence, "Victoria, I choose you."
The other Outcasts gasped, and every pair of eyes went to the young warrior. Victoria opened her mouth and slowly stood up, and approached Johanna. The leader put a hand on Victoria's shoulder, "You've impressed me all the time you've been here, and Lisa was also proud of you. I'm sure even she would have chosen you." She then turned the new deputy around to face her Clanmates, who began to clap and chant her name.
[7:20 P.M-]
Victoria's stomach churned as she sat next to the fire with her Clanmates, worrying for the leader's life. She'll be ok, she reassured herself repeatedly, but in the midst of the Great Outcast War, there was little optimism, and death was everywhere.
Victoria looked behind her to the nurse's tent where Rose, the newly assigned nurse, and Lisa were concealed in. She could barely hear Rose murmuring something, but couldn't make it out. Lisa's coughing stopped, she pondered. Johanna, the deputy, came out of her own tent lethargically, bringing out a wool blanket, and sat down beside Victoria. She unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around her and Victoria, shivering.
"How do you think she's doing?" the young warrior asked.
"I don't know. It seems too quiet, though," Johanna answered with uncertainty. Suddenly, Rose came out of her tent, standing at the entrance, and said, "Johanna? Lisa wants to see you."
The deputy quickly stood up and speed-walked to the nurse's tent, Victoria watching her until she disappeared into it. That can't be good, she worried.
Meanwhile, in the tent, Johanna kneeled down before the sick leader's sleeping bag. Though it was dark, the deputy could still see the sickly paleness on Lisa's face. She looked miserable.
"Y-you're dying, Lisa," Johanna choked and took the leader's hand into her own two, but Lisa yanked it away towards her own face. "Don't touch me!" she rasped angrily, slightly coughing afterwards, "We don't need you catching it." Rose looked on from behind with grief.
"There's no hope for me, Johanna," Lisa whispered, eyes watering, "I never thought I'd die this way."
"No. You'll make it."
Lisa shook her head silently in despair, "No. Take care of this Clan...and make sure all the future leaders will do the same. I'm the last original one left, anyway." She slowly laid back down, taking in shallow, painful breaths.
Johanna glanced at Rose, who was tearing up. The nurse walked up beside the leader on her right, "Lisa?" The leader didn't answer. Both Johanna's and Rose's eyes widened, and they looked at each other.
"Lisa!" Johanna hissed, and brushed the leader's blond hair away from her face. Her eyes were closed, but Johanna felt no breath coming from her nose or mouth.
Rose took Lisa's hand, but it was limp and cold. The nurse shook her head in panic, "Oh, no. No!"
Johanna inhaled shakily, "She's gone."
"We should...both go out and tell everyone," Rose sobbed and put down the leader's hand. They both stood up and exited the tent.
The deputy and nurse stood before their Clanmates around the fire, and they all looked up with anticipation.
"Our leader is dead," Johanna deliberately announced with grief, and looked down.
All the warriors gasped in shock and glanced at each other, and some already began crying. Victoria's mouth hung open as she looked up at the deputy. She hastily stood up and went inside the nurse's tent. "What are you-" Johanna said.
Victoria breathed heavily as she looked at Lisa's body, then kneeled down. She broke out sobbing and hugged her, remembering all the leader had done since she first joined ThunderClan. She didn't make it through the war, she thought. Victoria had always liked to think that Lisa would have victory against ShadowClan in order to end the Great Outcast War, and be admired as a hero by all the Clans.
Johanna came into the tent, "Come on, Victoria. We're burying her and then choosing the new deputy." The new leader picked up Lisa's body, but Victoria cried, "I thought she'd help us win the war!"
"I know, me too...but the Spirits didn't think that should be her task," Johanna answered. I guess that will be my job now, she thought.
Catherine saw Johanna carrying Lisa's body out to the small area of the forest South, where the other Clan members were buried. She grabbed a shovel from beside the warriors' tent as she along with her Clanmates followed Johanna. There was a large rock sitting at the base of a tree, where no Outcast had been buried before. Johanna looked to Catherine and murmured, "Dig here."
The warrior began digging up the frozen earth with much effort, and meanwhile Johanna asked as she held the body, "Does anyone have any words for Lisa?"
The warriors hesitated, many still in shock. Then one of them, Celeste, spoke up, "I'm sure she will look after us from SpiritClan, and she and the rest of the Spirits will help end this war."
Her Clanmates nodded and murmured in a kind of sad hope. Victoria remained silent. "And we will see her again...once we die," Brigitte added with her head low.
A few minutes later, Catherine had finished digging a rectangular five foot hole, a pile of dirt beside it. She struggled to climb out, and two warriors pulled her up. Without a word, Johanna kneeled down next to the hole and carefully laid Lisa in it, along with the clothing and jewelry she didn't wear, as the others watched mournfully. In a few moments, Catherine would shovel the dirt back into the grave.
[7:45 P.M-]
After Lisa was buried, the warriors silently went back to the campfire, while Johanna was moving her few belongings, some books, clothing, and jewelry, over to the former leader's tent. Afterwards, the deputy's tent was completely empty besides some boxes and the sleeping bag.
Johanna came out of her new tent and stood before the campfire. "It's time for me to choose the new deputy," she announced.
The warriors wearily looked up, and the older members anticipated her decision. It can't be me, Victoria thought. She hadn't even been a warrior for a year.
Johanna glanced at all the different warriors for a moment, but her eyes fell on Victoria, who sat meagerly in the crowd. She broke the silence, "Victoria, I choose you."
The other Outcasts gasped, and every pair of eyes went to the young warrior. Victoria opened her mouth and slowly stood up, and approached Johanna. The leader put a hand on Victoria's shoulder, "You've impressed me all the time you've been here, and Lisa was also proud of you. I'm sure even she would have chosen you." She then turned the new deputy around to face her Clanmates, who began to clap and chant her name.